Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and expressed by violent behavior, it can be viewed by society as an immature or uncivilized emotional response. Constant angry feelings and anger acting outs canlead to the real problems: problems at work, in personal relationships, and in the overalllife’s quality. It even can affect physical well-being, causing sleep problems, nightmares, ulcers, headaches, high blood pressure etc. The latest happens due to physiological and biological changes, accompanied emotional responses, like releasing stress hormone – cortisol or “energy” nerve messengers, like adrenaline and norepinephrine.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. It is possible to be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker, supervisor or significant other) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), sometimes anger can be caused by excessive worrying about personal problems. Recollections of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
A certain amount of anger is necessary for our survival, because it allows us to fight and defend ourselves. So it can be viewed as an adaptive response. However, the level of our anger limited by social norms, laws, by common sense and a s a result we are not lashing out on every person or event. Instead, we usually use a variety of conscious and unconscious processes to deal with angry feelings. There are three main approaches to deal with anger.
Expressing angry feelings in an assertive manner is the healthiest way to address anger. To do this, it is very important to understand own needs and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others. Suppressing anger, it is when it covered up or redirected. It happens when the anger is being hold in, anger thoughts stopped, and focus directed on something positive. The goal is to inhibit or suppress anger and change it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, anger can turn inward. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems to be cynical and hostile.
Such people are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, that they are less likely can build up successful relationships.
Calming down inside. This means not only controlling own outward behavior, but also controlling internal responses, taking steps to lower heart rate, calm self down, and let the feelings subside.
Psychologists dealing with anger management believe that when none of these three techniques work, that’s when someone or something going to get hurt.